Too many moments...from Rishikesh to Varanasi for birthdays and full moons and candlelit ghats...entry into silence in Sarnath met with hiccups and a necessary, early departure...back to vibrant Varanasi. Settling in a bit...walking confidently...tossing bits of Hindi into everyday speech, like salt on rice.
Inspired beyond words...beyond thoughts...purely observing and being and LIVING...
Last night's journal entry:
'...a warm candlelight flickers...a sort-of silence settling...caught up in, carried upon, swept up by the current... ...surrendering...giving in...tumbling and stumbling...tripping over and buoyed by laughter and tears...rooftop dancing...rickshaw bouncing...rupee haggling... ...heart pulled up and back...wrung out...squeezed, then stretched...wrinkles pressed flat between palms...slung over clotheslines...warming slowly... ...twigs igniting under massive pots...pani, so heavenly...softly spreading over morning skin, warm and gentle like mother's touch...bathing as child with bucket and pitcher by silent candle's glow... ...dipping into Vipassana baptism...inch by inch...toe to skull...sweetly disintegrating... ...dissolving...absolving...detaching and remembering... ...closed eyes...open heart...breath full deep...complete... ...empty while overflowing...drained and replenished...observing while observed...struggling stuck...challenged...pushed...boundaries overstretched... ...gut speak...heart listen...hands follow... ...bag packed quick...feet step trustingly...heavy load, shoulders pull, eyes wet like faucet leak...surya hot on unsure cheeks...gates opening, releasing me...5 days prematurely... *...still...5 days of sort-of silence set anchors deep...pulling soul into earthen spaces...formless being...grounding and releasing 'me'...allowing this shape to spill into and out of mother India... *few words speak simple truths...trimmed down...unadorned...leaving space for the language of silence... ...dot, dot pauses...words, like footsteps in rhythmic patterns, dancing upon lines and lips... ...heartbeat sculpting...softening... ...breath and pulse, like lovers, swirl in sweeping spiral shapes...lilting and beaming...bending and bobbing...like prayers, afloat upon the Ganges...weaving against, around, within one another...guiding and guarding each other... ...loving and gazing and listening...living...breathing...beating strong... ...flowing sweet and calm...'